The michelada is having its moment. The sometimes spicy, often red, Mexican beer-cocktail is trending and transnational breweries, local bars and home-based hustlers are cashing in.
In 2014 alone, an estimated $25 million dollars worth of micheladas were sold in the United States (and that’s a conservative back of napkin calculation extrapolated from my personal consumption).
In its simplest form, the michelada consists of beer, tomato juice, salt, lime and chile. In its more elaborate manifestations, the michelada is a wonder to behold.
Peep game.
1. Canchelada
Budweiser, Tecate and Modelo each sell a canned version of a michelada. Be advised: If you show up to a backyard boogie with any of these in a bag, take the beer out of the bag and then place the bag over your head.
2. Styrocheladas
When you need a quick fix, reach for a pre-made michelada mix. It’s simple. Pour. Stir. Drink. Pollute. If you’re resourceful, there’s enough mix to last two beers. And the styrofoam cup? Get used to it. It’ll be around for a few decades.
3. Michelada De Mano
Listen, if you want a michelada made right, make it yourself. Rejoice, as your michelada can be infinitely modified. You decide between Clamato and V8; Tapatio or Tabasco; Tajin or celery salt; Worcester or soy sauce? And that’s just the beginning (see: below)! There is ONE rule, though: Only use Mexican beer. Make that TWO rules: Pour a little out for the homies who ain’t here.
4. MACHOlada
Drinking a beef-broth michelada is a rite of passage. In addition to putting hair on your chest (sorry, ladies), this carnivorous concoction purportedly puts more pepper in your stepper. Get the recipe here.
5. 赤ビール
Santa Ana, California is home to one of the oldest Latino neighborhoods in the U.S. It’s also the birthplace of a dynamic iteration of our beloved classic. Jeff Hal, owner of Chapter One: the modern local, approaches cocktails with the same creative zeal he does his food. Their Asian inspired miso-lada is comprised of ginger puree, wasabi, uzu, salt, pepper and fish sauce. Don’t look for it on their menu, though. It’s a secret, so when you order, punctuate your request with the Chicano headnod.
6. Post-Modern Michelada
Leave it to hipsters to take a perfectly good drink and deconstruct it, only to reconstruct it as a shadow of the original. At Diablo Urban Taco Fabricators (that’s the name, smack me with a chancla if I’m lying) in Silverlake, Ca, they’ve created a michelada-mix-popsicle-stick. The popsicle sits in your beer.
The fundamental problem here is straight-forward. Serve cold beer and the popsicle mix doesn’t melt, serve a warm beer and I ain’t paying for that sh*t!
7. Michelada Mariscos
Jenny and Robert Lopez from Pomona, Ca have perfected a home-based hustle by hand-making decadent Michelada mixes and promoting them on Instagram. Their Ceviche Michelada is a top seller. To start, they rim the glass with a handmade, salted chile paste. Then they use a proprietary homemade michelada mix. That’s followed by a botana of crab, shrimp, tomato, avocado and lime. Impressed? Good. They’re just getting started.
8. Holy Michelada
Inspired by a church from his home state of Sinaloa, Mexico, Robert created La Catedral. La Catedral features cucumbers stuffed with ceviche, crab, peanuts, tamarindo, lime, their homemade michelada mix and handmade chilito preparado. Amen and Halleluia!
9.Pina-chelada
Pina Colada, move over, because there’s a new way to get faded off the prickly fruit. Rumor has it Jenny came up with the idea after going to La Catedral one too many times . This mammoth michelada is served with their signature michelada mix, chamoy, lime, chile paste and peanuts. And pineapple, lots of pineapple.
Now that’s just bananas.
10. Crown Mary
Smack dab in the American heartland, Sobelmans of Milwaukee serves the ridonkulous Crown Mary — a bloody beer (uhum, michelada) garnished with celery stalk, green onion, cherry tomatoes, lemon, shrimp, sausage, pickled asparagus, pickled mushroom, pickled brussel sprouts, and a hamburger.
A f*cking HAMBURGER!
One thing is abundantly clear, the michelada flood gates have opened. Don’t mind me, I’ll be sitting here at river’s end with my mouth wide open.
This article originally appeared in Flama before Univision shutdown the platform to focus on variety shows with clowns and hula hoops.