by Big Brown Dad | Sep 20, 2014 | Play Date
Del Norte Park, 1598 W Rowland, West Covina, 91790
This highly prized park has attracted unauthorized migrants from Covina, Baldwin Park and Irwindale for decades. And for good reason. It. has. it. all.
It sports an expansive playground with a NASA motif.
Houston, we have reports of urine in Sector 6.
And a dog park.
Houston, we have reports of urine in Sector 9.
And a splash pad, too.
Hou guessed it.
It was a great place for Joaquin to make new friends.
follow me, boo.
And at least one enemy. Take a listen for yourself:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsc4xMRPcjI
I guess now is when I tell you they were arguing over who was going to pay for shorty’s lunch.
by Big Brown Dad | Sep 19, 2014 | Food Reviews
Old like really, old like old with an E, Olde!
Shit. I turn 40 in 40 days. And it strikes me that I have a choice to be either fat or fit by forty and I have exactly forty days to secure my fate. Fuck. Forty.
I need to do it for me. I need to do it for my wife and kids. I need to do it for my mattress and box spring.
I’ll document it here to help keep me accountable. Research suggests social pressure (in the form of not wanting to appear to be a fucking failure) increases my chances of following thru, even if only negligibly in my case.
I’m essentially following the guidelines laid out in Tim Ferriss’ 4 Hour Body. I’m eliminating sweets, wheat/carbs for 6 days a week and focusing on lean meat, beans and greens. He calls it the slow-carb diet. But I would love to hear what type of books helped change your way of thinking about food, nutrition and the body. I know by keeping my head in the literature, I’ll have more reason to say no to all the tasty shit screaming my name.
this is on the kitchen counter, right in front of me, right now!
My 40 day hit list includes:
Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer
Omnivores Dilemma by Michael Pollan
Salt, Sugar, Fat by Michael Moss
What should I add?
by Big Brown Dad | Aug 8, 2014 | Food Reviews
When Big Brown Dad launched the Grill N Chill series I had one thing in mind: food …and learning how to cook it!
And I’m a Progressive. I commiserate with both pork-forkers and beef-teethers. Even the chickenese are welcomed in my home. It’s America for heaven’s sake!
raise it up!
Our next fire starter in the series is Chino (aka Wing, oka Pookie, fka Chente, ska LilBigVince). He’d appreciate it if you played his favorite song during the reading of this post.
Uncle ChinoWingChenteLilBigVincePookie Wants You to Join his Army! And by ‘You’ he means all single ladies 18-25 1/2.
And ChinoWingChenteLilBigVincePookie is stepping to the plate with that bone-in Rib Eye from Stater Bros. His first order of business is allowing the meat to get to room temp.
meet meat, mate.
Then he uses an LA County Fair Blue Ribbon winning family recipe gleaned from Uncle Dale: salt, pepper, garlic powder and onion powder–a combo ChinoWingChenteLilBigVincePookie says is impossible to overuse before cooking since it serves to encrust the steak. (Yes, excessive seasoning after cooking will kill your dish.)
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Talk to your meat before you touch it, says ChinoChenteWingLilBigVincePookie
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The Flintstones can’t fade this.
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Grill N Chill
The coals are lit w/o using lighter fluid as it can seep into the taste of the food. The coals are then spread evenly through the pit for direct grilling. Rather than using a timer, he’ll put each steak through a touch test to determine how cooked it is.
Big Brown Mom came thru with the mash potatoes, french bread and basil, tomato and mozzarella.
ChinoWingChenteLilBigVincePookie looks for color definition when he cuts open his steak…and as you can see… we got a winner! And bone-in means your pooch grub, too!
This steak was hearty, flavorful and moist. And it probably tastes better than yours. You disagree? Then come over to Grill N Chill! We’ll have these waiting:
Big Brown Dad
by Big Brown Dad | Aug 5, 2014 | Food Reviews
I shan’t front. My BBQ skills are mad basic. (Insert obligatory meat handling joke here.)
well, done.
Summer ’14 might be swimming to a finish but I’m not setting aside my BBQ grill just yet. I need to learn how to grill sumptin’ grate great.
So I decided to enlist the help of the homies by initiating Grill N Chill, a series of posts where friends roll thru Big Brown Dad HQ to grill their signature slab of protein while cold, cole, col’, chilling.
The first fire starter is Justin Gutierrez, my homie since our college days of passing out the 4 Spiritual Laws in Old Town Pasadena! I’ve been to his house enough times to know that this dude don’t play on the grill. I was gonna learn something.
The first pointer, create a pile of charcoal on one side for cooking over direct heat and leave the other side empty for cooking over indirect heat.
JG came thru with two 3 lb slabs of Pork Tenderloin. The first was marinaded overnight with Trader Joe’s 21 Season Salute and the second with apricot jam, garlic pepper and salt.
looking rather…um, loin-ish.
Justin seared the tenderloin by cooking all 4 sides over direct heat for 2 minutes before moving it to indirect heat for 8 minutes on 2 sides. He was serious about keeping to time, too. He used a stopwatch… and pistol. Bang!
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total cook time: 24 minutes
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cauliflower mash on smash and pastrami salad ftw
Justin’s wife, Connie, came thru with the cauliflower mash and pastrami salad. It was my first time trying both and they were out of this world. If that wasn’t enough, she also brought some delectables from her business, Brown Box Bakery, a diabetic friendly, gluten-free sweet spot based in Highland Park.
Orange Bunditini named after their propensity to magically disappear.
We chased our eats with equal parts wine, beer, tequilla and Dr Pepper. We laughed at our in-laws, recounted poor bedside manner and laughed at our in-laws again.
The inaugural Grill N Chill was a blast and set the bar high. Now, you’re up!
by Big Brown Dad | Jul 29, 2014 | Play Date
I had the good fortune of attending Occidental College during the height of its commitment to a diverse campus.
Exhibit A: 1998 Graduation Party
I met PK (far right) my first day at Oxy and learned we shared an appreciation for the bible, sports and laughter. He’s since burned his bible and given up on winning (he’s a Clipper’s fan) but he hasn’t stopped making people laugh. He’s Founder of Kollaboration and a host of Asian Nights at the Laugh Factory in Hollywood. And now he’s dropping a guest blog (w/video) for Big Brown Dad. Enjoy!
Hey Everyone,
One of BBD’s Occidental College roommate’s here, Small Yellow Dad. My name is PK and I’m a proud father of two, soon to be three. I’m terrified of having a third because financially we are just getting by and I need to make more money. I already know its making me a better person overall because I’m being more frugal with my spending and eliminating things I don’t need.
In addition, I’ve been cutting down on the “adult entertainment” that I watch as a married dad. I know you’re not supposed to watch any of it, but let’s be real…
the access is too easy. I REALLY Worry about the next generation and their access to porn. It is just way too easy. I remember when I was growing up, I went to the local bookstore and had to imprint the image of a sports illustrated issue in my mind to get excited. Now its just ridiculous and I’m just as guilty as anyone. God help us all.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kP0MBy0eQAQ
Be sure to follow PK @
www.youtube.com/channelpktown
www.instagram.com/channelpktown
www.twitter.com/channelpktown
by Big Brown Dad | Jul 28, 2014 | Vacation
Our family adventure in Zion wasn’t limited to hiking the harrowing Narrows in 90 degree temperatures.
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Zion National Park, UT
Big Brown Family
It also included trying a few products for the first time. Ever the consumer rights activist, I’ve decided to hip you to game and save you a few dollars in the process.
I’m empty on the inside but don’t judge me.
1) Smucker’s Goober Strawberry (and Peanut Butter!): My first problem with this product is the name. Goober has never, ever been a term of endearment. Gooba’, maybe. But never Goober. Plus peanut butter doesn’t even get mentioned in the title and it’s doing half the damned work!
But the most serious issue is that Goober solves one problem by creating two. Yes, by packaging PB&J together we’ve become more efficient but we’ve also diminished the quality of the product by confounding traditional food storage protocol. You see, we put our jelly in the fridge and peanut butter in the pantry. So where, pray tell, should I put this freak of nature? Cold peanut butter, no, thanks. Warm jelly? Jump off Angel’s Landing with that shit.
But as you can see, we straight smashed it.
* We buy Tropical Jelly. But if Smucker’s is listening, we’d entertain your jelly simpliciter. Send BBD a few jars of your finest stuff.
chile? chale.
2) Nabisco’s Wheat Thins Chile Chili Cheese: It took only one bite for me to tip my hat and flip my finger at the marketing mavens over at Nabisco. By the looks of the box, this was Wheat Thins attempt to capture the Flaming Hot, Dorito Extreme, Taki devouring demo. I mean, a damned spicy chile chili is on the box. And that looks like Monterrey Jack in the background. So, someone explain to me why this tastes like a can of Hormel Chili, the type they might serve at an emergency FEMA shelter after a natural disaster?
if you install photoshop into your cornea the Bumbleberry Motel will look like this for you, too.
3) Bumbleberry Hotel Motel: I encourage you to use Trip Advisor and Yelp when booking a place near Zion. We didn’t. The Bumbleberry’s aesthetic is best described as Lincoln log cabin meets bowling-alley chic. Their saving grace is a decent pool and their proximity to the park entrance.
Odds are high that we’ll be back to Zion next year. And our plan is to return with separate jar of peanut butter and jelly, some Triscuits and maybe some Glad New and Improved Odor Shield Febreze Fresh Clean Tall Kitchen Drawstring Bags 110 Count for the room.
by Big Brown Dad | Jul 23, 2014 | Vacation
This is our 2nd family trip into Zion National Park. We had a blast last year and couldn’t wait to go again.
She ain’t heavy, she’s my daughter. (2013)
The kids and I tag along for three days as big. brown. mom leads a group of Upward Bound students on a series of hikes. The students have spent 5 weeks living at Harvey Mudd College, taking college-prep courses in Literature, Chemistry and Math, and participating in non-traditional learning experiences, like this bomb-ass trip. Many of the rising sophomores from the San Gabriel Valley are camping for the first time. (Bassett, make some noise!) This trip will convert many of them into lifelong lovers, nay, WORSHIPERS of nature–and that’s just they type of pagan, quasi-religious experience Zion can summon.
onward. outward. upward.
Zion is about 350 miles from greater LA County, basically a straight shot up I-15 N, a familiar route for you degenerate gamblers. The sojourn zips thru Vegas, skirts into NW Arizona and then delivers you unto Utah’s promised land. It’s a well travelled route with rest stops, restaurants and restlessness aplenty.
Live Life Elevated
The internets is rife with road trip tips. To my chagrin, I couldn’t find a site that endorsed mixing Nyquil w/ Kool-Aid. And most of the suggested games don’t work for both a 2 year-old AND a 4 year-old. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that Joaquin can’t play ‘Eye-Spy,’ it’s that Maya is playing games designed for tweens like, ‘Daddy, why did God make people with bad teeth?’
Alas, music Pandora saved the day. We sang along to dozens of Disney tunes. Then we had a dance party. Yes, it’s possible to execute the Running Man from the driver’s seat. And then we played some word games with Maya while Joaquin zoned out and texted his homies.
Once we arrived, Angie and Maya met her students for an evening hike up Watchman Trail. Last year, Angie had to carry Maya for a portion of the hike. But this year, Maya was determined to tackle the two-mile hike without assistance.
She did it!
Once the group reached the end of the trail, the students had an opportunity to reflect collectively about their summer experiences. They talked about wanting to quit but deciding to persevere. They talked about learning skills and gaining confidence, making friends and gaining independence. 50 high schoolers spillin’ some guts. They laughed and they cried. And after each of student had a chance to share, it was Maya’s turn.
It took her a second to gather her thoughts.
“I’m happy that my Mom and Dad are alive.”
And that’s when I had my first spiritual lesson of the trip: if you smile while crying you can drink your own tears and be reborn.
by Big Brown Dad | Jul 20, 2014 | Food Reviews
It’s 5:30 a.m, the wife and kids are asleep and in between tossing and turning all I can think about is the first cup of coffee filling my gullet.
eye need coffee, now.
But I can’t get up and make my own. I’ll make too much noise. The click, click, click of the stove and the electro-whir of the grinder is reportedly, ‘…too damned loud right now.’ Reportedly.
So, where should I go for my fix of Joe? I had two choices: Jack in the Box or McCafe? Since I’m a baller, I decided on both.
Jack In The Box
As it happens, In N Out isn’t the only spot with an off-menu, menu. At JITB, you can order the unlisted, discounted Senior’s Coffee for $.75 instead of the MSRP of $1.19. And they (usually) don’t ask for ID! And if they did, you can say (as some reportedly have) ‘…it’s for my Grandpa!’
My Grandpa put the G in Grandpa…b/c he thought Randpa sounded wack.
Now, I drink my coffee black, Jack. Adding sugar and cream is like drinking a pink, mixed-drink….at a club named Metro…while wearing skinny jeans, nahmean? But a friend of a friend likes sugar and cream and to my, er, his, er, her chagrin, JITB refuses to add them directly into the coffee. They’ll only hand you the packets. Now that’s some ol’ un-American bullshit if I’ve ever heard it.
Sip. Sip. Swish. Spit.
Judge Judy ain’t bout that life.
The Verdict:
I regret to inform you that this cup of coffee tastes like it was made at a Motel-8, biked over in the rain and then microwaved. And I didn’t know microwaves had a lukewarm setting. Keep your $ .75. You might need it for later.
McCafe
First things, first. The McDonald’s drive-thru menu is a beauty to behold. The colors, the images, the layout, the packaging…it’s mesmerizing…as if they’d spent millions and millions of dollars researching which layout compels us to spend more money [insert sarcmark here].
While the McCafe doesn’t offer a senior discount their Dollar Menu has fed more old folk than the local Elk’s Lodge. Never mind Ronald McDonald House, the Dollar Menu was Ron’s greatest gift to the world.
Strike that. Putting cream and sugar directly into your coffee is Ron’s greatest gift to the world.
I grab the coffee, place it between my legs and drive-off while pumping my brakes intermittently. Now this feels go000od.
I pull my first sip. And then a second. A third. And then it hits me.
This is why they invented Starbucks!
by Big Brown Dad | Jul 19, 2014 | Food Reviews
Chris. Tommy. Jim. Victor. Manny.
Chris’ sign is here rather than P&G because I have a disease called representationitis.
If you grew up in the San Gabriel Valley then your neighborhood had a local burger joint named after a fat uncle from Crete.
My gyro!
My approach to these greasy spoons (wait, that IS grease…right?) has always been to eat at the one nearest you. For us, that’s Covina’s P&G Super Burger on Citrus.
Now let me just come out and say it because I can’t restrain myself for much longer: these mofux straight charged me $.50 for a second 1 oz container of salsa. My face turned redder than their watered down Tapatio. I wouldn’t have been so upset if their salsa wasn’t so…damned…good!
With that said, the primary problem here is at the register. The women who know most about the menu knows least about the English--and that’s not a xenophobic, nativistic diss either. It’s just the sober analysis of a former long-term substitute instructor for BUSD Adult Ed ESL 1-2 who had an impossible time adding bacon to a cheeseburger, nahmean. I’d recreate a conversation below but I never know what in the hell any of them are saying–and that’s not a xenophobic, nativistic diss either. It’s just the sober analysis of a former long-term substitute instructor for BUSD Adult Ed ESL 1-2 who had a hard time adding bacon to a cheeseburger, nahmean.
Peep game, I will not post pictures of their food. You’ve seen a $3.00 hamburger before, right? Same thang, right here. Chili-fries, onion rings, pastrami…everything an artery needs to call it quits can be had here…or at Chris’, Victor’s, Jim’s…ad nauseum.
So, if you’re in the neighborhood and craving a burger….drive another two miles to IN N OUT on Grand.
Big Brown Dad
by Big Brown Dad | Jul 17, 2014 | Play Date
The name Hollenbeck is enough to throw any Los Angeleno’s intestines into a tizzy.
intestinitus fortitudinis
It’s a legendary mammoth burrito from Boyle Heights whose namesake was one of Southern California’s earliest real estate magnates–straight tycoon status.
Hi, I used to own your entire hood.
Covina’s Hollenbeck Park is named after the same cat. And sho’ nuff, like the burrito, the park can be a tummy turner.
The playground is rated for kids 5-12 which means my 2 year old needs constant supervision. I don’t understand the reasoning behind having any city park unavailable to such a large swathe of park-goers, kids ages 2-4.
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This? Yeah, I got this.
The remainder of the park is a mixed-bag: it has a great basketball court that nobody uses; there are sizable green-spaces usually taken up by an organized sport; there’s great shade but zero BBQ grills; there are 6 swings but zero with baby guards.
So, if you plan to make a playdate of Hollenbeck Park bring some water and some Tums and if you have a chance, stop by Manny’s and grab me one of these:
soiling sheets since 1849.
If my son can scale the Pyramid of Pain, I can do this!
Truly,
BigBrownDad
by Big Brown Dad | Jul 14, 2014 | Play Date
Listen, I can’t tell you where exactly this park is located. Nor can I tell you the name.
It’s a secret.
All I can tell you is that we stumbled across this pleasant patch of paradise while looking for a shortcut to downtown Starbucks.
I know, I’ve said too much already.
Like most parents, I’m looking for a park with decent shade and age-appropriate activities. The trees line the westerly perimeter and provide great shade in the afternoon. And the park is one of the few in the city rated for kids as young as 2.
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go, go, go, go, go, go, STOP!
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baby swings, FTW!
This means you won’t have to spend every second hovering over your yungin’ as he attempts to scale the formidable obstacles like the Wall of Death at Hollenbeck Park or The Ladder of Lost Tears at Joslyn Park.
This park isn’t without its problems though. First, there’s a train track near the park (clue #3!). This means a train is barreling thru and tooting its horn hella loud, hella often. I’ve seen it scare kids with less than steely resolve.
Another problem is this shameful construction oversight, likely the result of a lazy supervisor.
they all…fall…down.
The design allows for an optional floor board to be placed between the two platforms. The slots for the nuts and bolts are right there. Instead, there’s a 18″ dip that kids fall into time and time again.
And then there’s this:
false advertisement much?
We searched high and low, on top of trees and under the litter that the grandmother who was babysitting 8 kids left (WE SAW YOU, LADY!). Yet and still…no see-saw.
Use the clues provided here to cruise the city and find your way to this park. It’s a quiet alternative to the hustle and bustle of the Covina’s more visible parks. And if you see a grandmother with 8 children, ranging from from 1-12 years old, reading a trashy supermarket romance novel in between flipping thru her phone and doling out Cheeze-Its, make sure she picks up her shit!
by Big Brown Dad | Apr 28, 2014 | Play Date
This is an exceptionally safe micro-park with an extraordinarily dull playground. Heritage Park is connected to the Covina Police Station which means you won’t find any of the ‘drifters’ here that you’ll find at Hollenbeck or Covina Parks. While the playground is tiny, it’s a great place to spend 15 minutes working off some energy before strolling through Old Town Covina. And it’s dog friendly, too!
floor fountain for Fido.
Slide. Slide. Slippity, Slide.
