To Whom It May Concern:
First, all due propers for capitalizing on the name Quickie. In the spirit of the name, let me pump this out quickly.
I bought a Quickie. It faded…you guessed it…quickly.
Quackery?
No!
An error at the factory, fa’sho.
But I’m hopeful that you might redeem my experience by replacing it with a version that best lives up to your company’s standards.
Sincerely,
Big Brown Dad